There is a Season

Countdown to the big five oh, Deb.  Two months to go.  Oh no!

      Amidst the tranquil setting of an island haven this Thanksgiving weekend recently passed, I gathered some of my thoughts. The only resolution I came to was that I should write something down, and still I procrastinated... but here I am at last, spurred by the impending meeting deadline for my writers' group (not to say that previous such deadlines haven't come and gone before).  I think as Canadians in the wake of our federal election we should all feel empowered to at least and at last consider radical change.

      I tried all summer (May through August, when my work schedule is lighter) to make some meaningful changes in my life, without much more than a superficial kind of progress.  I was going for tangible change, which I hoped to achieve by selecting one Action Item per week (god help me, I even labelled them as Action Items on the calendar) but I got superficial change instead, probably because the things I put on the calendar--though at the time they seemed absolutely essential--were essentially, well, non-essential.  I can't even remember what they were now.  I just have this general feeling that they were trivial pursuits.  I'll have to look.

      OK.  Weeks 1 through 4 were as follows:  TEETH, HAIR, EYES, FEET.

      Hmm.  Maybe a bit of a rethink then.  I will have to admit that these things don't sound non-essential: the long-delayed dental check-up and teeth cleaning (blessedly no cavities, thanks to the modern miracle of electronic teeth brushing); the biannual haircut (and don't ask, because I can recall neither whether that means twice a year or once every two years, nor how long it had actually been); the optometrist appointment where I ordered my new progressive lenses; and the promised land of orthotics to save my fallen arches.  But I think as time goes by we get more trivial. Let's see:

     DIET, EXERCISE, HYDRATION (?!), WEIGHT, and TIME MANAGEMENT.

     Well, those are just too broad to be achievable--with the possible exception of hydration--I believe I embarked on an ambitious course of drinking eight glasses of water per day, an ambitious process I discontinued after reading that according to many learned folks, really there is no need for all that nonsense.  Let's check in with July, when I believe I got back to brass tacks.

      Good god!  LINENS.  It actually says "LINENS."  Come to think of it I did go out and get new sheets and a lovely duvet.  GROOMING.  This is where it gets personal.  Well, no one wants to put "trim pubic hair and stock up on Summer's Eve" on a calendar.  I could say more (since my impending fiftieth birthday is meant to come with a newfound freedom of speech) about the miracle of what a dear friend calls "lady-garden" products, but I won't. Redacted. 

     DOCUMENTS. If that refers to passport documents--oops--still haven't gotten around to it.  Where am I gonna go anyway? I need to get my financial affairs in order first--wait, maybe those were the DOCUMENTS. Oh yeah. Now we're down to August and I guess I gave up after the first week. ENVIRONMENT.  Did I plan to save the environment that week?  Who knows?  So much for my summer of self care.

     Now a new season is upon us, and where do we go from here? Half a century has come and gone. My cousin who already turned fifty told me it's great because you just don't give a crap anymore about what everyone thinks of you. You just live your life.  That's why it's called "F*&% You 50."  Several women in my life are coming to the same crossroads and making big changes:  going back to school; starting a new job, getting a divorce; writing a novel--to name a few.  You just live your life. As for me ... I'm not sure.  I can't even get it together to save the environment.  Maybe I'll just take a deep breath and intone my new mantra:  "....F....U....Five....Oooooohhhhhh....."